However, I am going to have a little tiny creature who is going to look to me for everything: her nourishment, her safety, her energy. When I truly reflect on the kind of mother I want to be to my daughter (oh my gosh, I’m going to have a daughter…), I realize that there is no better time to focus on self-improvement – on the woman that I present to the world every day.
Of course, I’d love to be back into my pre-pregnancy jeans by spring. I want to work on formal meditation and mindfulness practice. I want to get into a better house cleaning routine. I want to learn to balance full-time stay-at-home motherhood with a blogging and business routine that works for me. I want to transition into more of a vegan diet eventually. I need to stay on top of my mental health, especially in the face of potential postpartum depression issues. It goes without saying that I want to have a safe delivery and keep this baby (and Benn, Bob, and me!) safe, fed and happy for the calendar year and beyond.
So there’s a lot I’d like to focus on this year, but overall, I have one resolution that I am positive will serve me well no matter what:
Be gentle with myself.
I feel like gentleness naturally started to become part of my life as I focused on things like gratitude and mindfulness, and I’ve seen the powers of it working in my relationships and mental health and worldview. I know I’ll need it more than ever as I move into this new phase of life in a new city. It really is the fool-proof resolution; no matter what challenges come up in this new year, by being gentle with myself, I will be able to cope in my own way and hopefully connect with others in a kinder, more gentle fashion. And amazingly enough, I feel the strongest when I am gentler with myself! Amazing how that works.
When I think about the energy I want to present to my daughter, it is a gentle energy. Will she care if I fit into size 10 skinny jeans within three months of delivery? No, but I want her to learn from my example that she is worthy and fabulous no matter what she looks like. Will she care how much money I make blogging? No, but I want her to grow up to follow her passion no matter where it takes her. Will she care if Benn and I argue about the house being clean? Probably not directly, but she will definitely sense the energy between the two of us, and I want her to grow up to know what a loving, stable, equal relationship looks like.
By being gentle with myself, and with those close to me, I will teach her to hopefully do the same. And in this crazy world she’s being born into, she’s going to need all the inner-strength and self-gentleness she can create! Hopefully in her first year, and my thirty-first year, I can give that gift to both of us❤️