It happened. I had my first hormonally-driven, pregnancy-related, emotional breakdown. I’d like to pat myself on the back for making it to 26 weeks before the waterworks started (the only other thing that makes me cry is that amazon.com commercial where they dress the dog up like a lion because the little baby is scared of the dog😭). Considering we’re right in the midst of the selling/buying/moving process as well, I think I’m doing a pretty good job holding it all together!
So what brought this on?! Registering for my baby shower. At a giant baby superstore.
I knew I’d be overwhelmed by everything we “need” for the baby. I know that I’m probably a bit behind the preferred timeline, since I’ve been so focused on selling the house and the move. I knew I’d be shocked by the prices on some of the necessary items. And I was prepared for the registering process to take a few hours. What I didn’t expect was to be completely disappointed by the selection of items available at a mainstream store.
The way I envision my day-to-day life with a new baby was definitely not represented by the items in the store. I am going to be home full-time with the baby when she arrives, and I do have some tentative plans of things I’d like to do. I want to cloth diaper. I want to baby wear. I want to exclusively breastfeed. I know I know – things happen, life with a newborn is chaos and you think I’ll change my mind (and by the way, I’m allowed to change my mind if that’s what’s best for our family), but these are the plans I have in place right now.
I was so upset to see that there were very few options in store for these choices. And everything is super limited if you want to do more gender-neutral clothing or nursery decor. I know all of these things are available online or in smaller boutiques, but in my emotional, hormonal, pregnant state, I was heartbroken. I barely made it out of the store to the car before I started crying!
It sort of felt (again, to my emotional, hormonal, pregnant brain) like the store was judging my choices. Then Benn reminded me that the store exists to make money, not to cater to my every desire. Perhaps this was my first introduction to the dreaded Mommy Wars. We all get to make our choices about how we parent and the home we create. Doing things a little differently is not going to be convenient or simple – but then again, that’s not why I’m making these choices to begin with❤️
So after a good cry on Benn’s shoulder, a homemade pasta dinner and five rolls (FIVE ROLLS WITH BUTTER…so good) at our favorite little Italian restaurant, some online research, and a Klondike bar, I felt a little better. I removed things from the registry that I had felt pressured to select. I added some things that were only available online, like some cloth diapers and a bassinet. In the end, I was really pleased with the items we actually did put on our registry – the stroller and car seat, the Aden by aden + anais items we chose, the pumping system, etc. I also created an Amazon registry for the cloth diapering things I’ll need.
It’ll all work out and this baby will be surrounded by love, no matter what her nursery looks like or if a disposable diaper touches her precious behind. And I need to keep reminding myself that we get to make our choices for us, no matter what.
Help a new momma out! What are your favorite shops for more minimal baby gear?
PS: oh these hormones….