Wednesday, May 3, 2017
After realizing that my period was a few days late yesterday, I bought a pregnancy test this morning after work. After years of taking tests when I was a day late or after feeling weird symptoms, I 99% expected it to be negative. After three and a half years of using zero birth control, I was starting to just assume that we’d never get pregnant naturally. I wasn’t even tracking my cycles anymore – I had to go back a few months on my calendar to find a star to indicate when a period had started and do some math.
I had really arrived at a place in my head where I was confident that my life would be full and happy and wonderful with or without children. If I were to get pregnant, that would be exciting, but if I didn’t, that was okay too. I felt neutral and open. I definitely wasn’t ready to pursue medical intervention to conceive. I just threw it out there for the universe and my body to decide.
So I sat down and took the test and thought Isn’t it strange that the last thing I’m going to do before my life potentially changes forever is take a piss?! I watched the test develop on the sink and BAM! Two super bright blue lines – pregnant! My immediate response was Oh shit! followed by about two minutes of hysterical laughter. Bob jumped around under my feet, excited that something was going on!
In retrospect, my boobs had been huge for the last week. And I hadn’t had any of my traditional PMS symptoms…
I felt surprisingly calm. I mean, it’s one of those things that is like – it just is. Two minutes before, I didn’t know it was. But now it is. And I’m very happy that it is, but I’m also, naturally, a bit overwhelmed by it all.
I guess I’m in a little bit of shock. I waited to tell Benn until he got home and he was so thrilled. Biggest smile I’ve ever seen. We’ve decided to share with family and friends over the next few days instead of waiting – why wait?!
So, now the-day-I-found-out-I-am-pregnant, the day that everything changed forever!, is over and I have a caffeine headache the size of the sun (that wasted no time at all showing up!). See you in January, Embryo Draher – can’t wait!❤